Love/Pain Posted at 2:36 AM 0 comments (+) Never felt more conflicting emotions in my heart.
So much love. So much pain.

Please let everything be okay at the end of this. Please let me start to believe that it will. Please let what everyone had told me be true. I am bold, confident, I am strong.
This is a difficult and trying period, not just for you, but me too.

All of you who'd made me feel better in one way or another in this period, thank you. At times it is hard to be okay, when everything seems to be pushing me down, and crushing my beliefs. On one hand, I see the people who truly care for me, who really thinks well of me. So much love. On the other, I look at the backview of those who'd left me behind, intentionally, unknowingly, temporarily or forever. So much pain.

Sometimes when I can't help but care, but when all I got in return was hurt, I'd really be thinking "What the heck, what is so hard, are you the problem or am I the problem? Why did I even bother?" Sometimes, I blame myself for not caring more, not making more effort to be in the knw. Not being able to offer my ears and shoulders, my advice and assurances.

I'm done chasing. I've decided to not look back, not walk ahead, but just sit down on the spot and take a break. I am tired, and jaded from chasing. I need to stop thinking of what I want, and start remembering what I deserve.

I am going to put all the pain behind for now, keep all the love in my heart, start studying soon, and be happy.

休息是为了走更长远的路, 我也希望变更好.