Strengthless Posted at 3:33 AM 0 comments (+) Are you glad that it's finally not the same post at the top anymore?
Ha. As if I care.

After reading through my archives for 2010, I realised I only posted two entries this December prior to this one. I'm not sure what caused me to just not feel like updating anymore. I've been to many places with many different people, and did many things in this past month, but I just don't deem it necessary to post about anymore.

Have been staying home a lot these days. Partly because I am penniless, broke like anything. And partly because.. Well, I just don't feel like going out or meeting people. I don't feel like doing anything at all lately, other than lying around and stoning all day etc. I just feel strengthless. Maybe I am suffering some form of withdrawal syndromes because I really feel alright being cooped up at home every single day now.

Anyhow, I went back to floorball today. My first training in about three months. It was good, I felt very much alive, struggling to breathe with a stitch and all. But after I came home, I felt too tired to do anything, and so I gave in to my fatigue and slept for 5 hours straight.

You knw, I am not sure why I am even updating at 3 in the morning with nothing particularly interesting to say. I suppose maybe I am also sick of looking at the same post at the top every time I come into my blog. Or this might just be for the sake of it. Hur.

In just a few days, concludes 2010 and begins 2011. Just another year really, never anything spectacular. In a few more days than that, school will reopen. I am half looking forward to having routine again, instead of living like I'm dead every day, and some kind of aim to work towards. But I am also dreading the arrival of everything because I knw that once it starts, it can't stop. I guess that above all, I am afraid that I will still give in to my procrastination until it is too late. I am afraid that I can't make it after everything.

I am not in the mood to make new year resolutions anymore. I never keep them anyway. I guess maybe I can't be bothered about anything anymore. I feel like I have grown more skeptical lately. Like "chuck being reflective, just do your own thing, not like anyone gives a fuck."

Yeah, I'm just going to do my own thing. I can't be bothered about anything and I am tired of fighting for what I believe in. I've not gotten around to thinking what I will put down for my year-ender, I thought it will come naturally but seeing as how things are now, maybe not. Maybe I'll take the next few solitary days at home to think about it.

Pretty sure I am not going to update anymore, until my year-ender.