Falling to pieces... Posted at 2:01 AM 0 comments (+) It took me a lot of effort and convincing, before I finally decided not to put you down.

You know what the late night does to me, fills me up with this strange sadness that I can't even begin to pinpoint. You know how much I love to read, about anything and everything from books to spaces where people write about their lives. You know how much I love the tune and the brilliant words of those 'emo' songs that I am so fond of singing aloud to myself on nights like this.

When you put all three together, where does that leave me?

I thought for a long time, whether or not you deserved to go down on that list. Well definitely yes, and definitely no. There were good times, there were bad times. There was happiness, there was heartbreak. There was hope, and there was despair.

For the past days, weeks, months and even years.
I have so much to say to you.

But I can't.

I always wondered why I don't seem to deserve what others have. What everyone else around me has. Why things always have to be so difficult for me. Why? I can't stop asking myself why. Why sometimes fighting for you is not enough. Why?

When nobody reads this space anymore, when I am no longer afraid of being judged, when things get better then stop falling into nothingness all over again, when I am brave enough, when you care enough.

I will tell you everything.