Been telling myself I need to do up a schedule and stick to it. Before time passes me by again. But nope, nothing done, yet.

I haven't touched any paperwork, or used my brain for... maybe one week? My GC was definitely untouched for that long. I need to press at it randomly for a bit later. Just to make sure it's still working, after not using it for awhile.

I wonder if I could still make things work, actually.

3.02 a.m., I don't really know why I'm still not asleep.

Maybe I shouldn't have made that cup of coffee an hour ago.

Is this what giving up is?

Songs drown out my helplessness again, temporarily. But when the twin horrors of guilt and panic comes back and hits me, I won't have anywhere to run.

I don't even know why I'm acting as if everything is out of control. When really, they are all within my control. Just that I am not giving a fuck at controlling any shit.

Some songs that used to matter. Don't, anymore. Some people that used to matter. Also don't, anymore.

Just for the heck of it. There's no love left in me anymore.

Not even sure who I am talking to.