Thursday, December 29, 2011
The hardworking type.
Posted at 3:51 AM
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Since the start of 2011 I've:
Cross off what you've done.
Dyed my hair.
Ended a relationship.
Started a new relationship.
Passed an exam. (I think don't have leh.)
Met someone who’s now an important part of my life.
Cried on someone’s shoulder.
Had a massive fight with a boy/girl friend. (Fight maybe, but not massive.)
Had a Valentine.
Gone to see a therapist.
Gone to the zoo.
Spent too much money on unnecessary things. (I would have, if I actually had the money to begin with.)
Slammed a door out of frustration. (I never slam doors. It's really loud and rude.)
Had an anxiety attack.
Babysat for a friend’s child.
Gone to the fair.
Gone bowling.
Seen a film at the cinema in 3D.
Gone on a date.
Been the only sober one on a night out.
Helped someone home after they had been drinking.
Talked on the phone for over two hours.
Supported someone who’d received bad news. (I'm really bad at being the support for people. Really bad.)
Bought a DVD the day it was released.
Eaten McDonald’s more than four times in a single week. (I think... not?)
Cried as a result of exam stress.
Gone to great parties.
Fallen backwards off a chair.
Broken my glasses.
Worn a watch for the first time in years.
Thrown up.
Gone out of my way to avoid an ex-boy/girlfriend.
Fought with someone in public.
Been in a relationship for a year or longer.
Cried in front of someone I adore.
Lost one of my closest friends.
----
What a boring, unspectacular 2011. I almost don't know what to write for my year-ender because I don't think anything big happened.
Going to set off for Genting in about less than 4 hours' time. I don't know why I'm not asleep now even though I'm really sleepy ._. When I get there, it means endless Starbucks, and shopping! Not that the things there are cheaper, or even cheap at all. But foreign currency isn't really considered as real money to me somehow hahaha. (Furthermore, my parents are paying.)
I have been lazy recently. Skipping chores even, sleeping in every day and just lazing around, dragging myself around the house and not doing anything at all.
Man, am I seriously turning 20 soon? I feel like I am growing old too quickly and everything is passing by in a blur. I don't have the time to stop and savour the things I want to remember and keep the people who are important close.
I have so many regrets, tbqh.
I miss being a student, tbqh.
I always wished I was the hardworking type, and I always admire the hardworking type of people so much. But every year I disappoint myself and the people who believe in me by being unprecedented-ly lazy. Every year when I read the year-ender/resolutions for the previous year, I feel really disgusted at myself.
I am nothing that I said I would be.
I am everything I don't want to be.
What to do? It's already too late.
Sigh. What I wouldn't give to go back and do things the right way.
Life's pretty okay now. Mundane and stuff, until I begin work in January, I'll continue to laze around I guess. But I know when reality hits next March, I won't be feeling like this. Things are going to be a mess, and there are going to be more regrets than ever. I just pray that things won't be that bad and there will still be somewhere for me to go.
If I end up in a uni, I hope I will finally become the hardworking type I always wanted to be though.
I really look up to people who are the hardworking type.
