Posted at 2:06 AM 0 comments (+) Time passes by so quickly without me noticing.In a flash, it's Friday once again.

My days end quickly, Friday comes. My weekends end quicker, Monday comes. Week by week, time just passes, passes by me.
February will end soon, and March will come.
And then, what will I be?

I know that at the end of this, nothing will be too bad and I will end up somewhere. But all the comparisons, the consolations I will hear from people, all the years later I am going to be doing something I never wanted to do. I will never stomach that. I will never live it down.

I like being a working adult. But I also miss school.
I miss being a student with homework to do. I miss receiving new notes that make my OCD self excited at the things I am going to write down to fill the clean pages, only to get lost halfway and totally give up. I miss walking around school, wondering if today I might bump into whoever in the corridors.

I am turning 20. Too much time has passed me by. In the months when A levels was crushing everyone and making it hard to breathe, I said I would start living once it is all over. I found myself even more dead than before.

All the things I wanted to do.
Not done.

I have dreams too. But I have grown too old for it.
Sometimes when I get closer to it, see people living my dream, there's a lot of strange emotions that rise within me. I always think, "That could have been me." and when there's somebody that really touches the deepest part of me, that part that still wishes to live that dream, I just want to cry.

Just blame it on the wrong time, wrong place.
Dreams like that, they are not meant to last, but I will continue to dream this dream.

On a lighter note, Valentine's Day was kind of heart-warming thanks to Wenyi, Yanyi and Sylvia. Just when I was all alone in the office, not even thinking about this day, just going to let it pass unspectacularly, they came in and gave me a pleasant surprise.

I found out that I feel so much happier when I am not expecting anything to happen.