My head's been especially messed up lately, what with university admissions to fret over, the increasing workload with the boss back in town, and brooding over the loss of a friend.

I just cannot stop right now, okay? I'm sorry.

My emotions need to find their release, and I am sorry to him, that I still don't know so much even after his passing. It's been years, I've missed out a lot that I can never hope to catch up, but only speculate. And I know this, too.

I'm just sorry.

I think I am starting to understand what Wenyi meant that "truth haven't sink in" because it has, now. Staring at my results slip, at the unspectacular grades that I have already anticipated getting, I don't feel upset at all. After all, what right do I have to feel upset if I've never even put in effort?

Then I look at all the university's admission criteria and then I know.

This can't work.

I need to sleep.