Posted at 12:47 AM 0 comments (+) I wished I was pretty enough too. That my eyes are pointy, like a cat's, instead of rounded at the ends. That the top of my lips looked like a cupid's bow, sharp and heart-shaped, instead of generally not having a defined outline. That my jawline could be more defined and sharp, like a typical girl's sharp chin, instead of having a squarish one.

I wished I was pretty enough too. That my fingers are long and slender, like how all ladies should have, instead of stubby and oddly deformed ones. That my tummy is flat or maybe even concave, so I never have issues with crop tops and muffin tops, instead of what I have. That my legs are skinny and long, so I can fit in all the skinny jeans nicely, instead of these half muscly legs that look horrible in anything skin tight.

I wished I was pretty enough too. That my hair flows smooth and stays nicely in place in any kind of style, instead of an unhealthy mane that my relatives recommend I do something every time there is a family gathering. That my skin is nice and clear, the kind that glows even without makeup, instead of tired and dull skin that still looks like crap even after makeup.

I wished I was pretty enough too. That one smile is enough to light up the entire room. To turn heads and melt hearts. To make people want to do irrational things for me.

Well, I try hard. But no amount of effort put into dressing myself well, learning how to cover my facial flaws with makeup, building a style that is unique to myself, is going to help very much. Not pretty is just....average. And average is not enough.

Maybe if I was pretty enough, things might hurt less. Maybe if I was pretty enough, I would be worth fighting for.

Maybe.
I wouldn't know.