June. Posted at 4:07 AM 0 comments (+)
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It's June.

It's hard to believe that we are already starting on the half-mark of the year, when I have only achieved so little. And still time passes.

I have a lot of backed up drafts, both here and in my head which I have yet to write. It doesn't feel right anymore, because I've been feeling much happier as of late and these things I wanted to write about are a little heavy on both the heart and mind.

A lot of things have been going on as well, especially with the passing of my 21st and I've met up with so many people and done so many things I just can't let them slip away into oblivion. I want to write about them, especially my birthday, but I've been putting it off for some reason, maybe because of all these unpublished and unwritten drafts. Or maybe I'm just not inclined to writing about happy things....?

In any case, I'll fit everything in some time. I'll write about my birthday as well, because I don't want myself to ever forget how it felt like....

In other news, I've been stressing a lot lately about getting a job... generally money matters. Somehow, none of my applications thus far have gotten any responses, and I don't remember finding a job ever being so difficult. I also realised that I have nearly never had a proper interview of sorts because a lot of my previous jobs came about by pulling strings and relations. I don't want my holidays to pass with nothing done.

I'm finally 21 now, and I guess I need to re-evaluate a lot of things about my mindset and outlook about life. It's really late right now so I won't elaborate (I hope I really get around to writing about all these things clogging up my drafts and my head, though, because sometimes I just let things pass) but I came to see how my fear/repulsion towards having a one-on-one meal or with a group of people I do not consider myself well-acquainted with cannot go on. A lot of times, when I actually turn up for it, I find that things aren't as bad as I have expected them to be. I don't knw why I just feel really intimidated at the thought of it, maybe because I literally have nothing going on for me in life, and I'm not the least bit interesting so half the time I have no idea what to talk about or say in response to what other people are saying.

That being said, though. There is still something I really dread that is going to happen and I don't knw what to do about it. Crossing my fingers that it goes alright, and things stay where they are supposed to. I swear though, it's not that I want anything out of it, I was just being polite.

For now, it's a good time to sleep. Hopefully June would be a little more fruitful.