Handle with Care Posted at 2:53 AM 0 comments (+)
Not sure when my scheduler became a diary instead.

I really want to promise myself to not be so negative/harsh towards others. I keep forgetting how fragile a lot of people are internally. Sometimes I really can't help it, when the irritation already flooded my mind I just want to get them to stop whatever they are doing or saying, but I really don't want to become like another one of those who hurt me with their careless words in a moment of aggravation.

Knowing myself, though.... that's not gna be easy.
Just a thought. If every time I get angry at someone, but I hold my unhappiness in instead of letting it explode, do I still have a bad temper? Then am I still myself? Sometimes I feel like keeping my anger in saves me from hurting somebody else, but I feel like I'm hurting myself.

Anyways, I just remembered some things, and I feel that I should be thankful. I've always had the annoying tendency to forget the nice things people do for me but penalise them when they hurt me. It's always the little things that get me. The little unpleasant things that people say or do to me can affect me for a very long time, but the little nice things also touch me more than grand gestures. And this is also primarily why I always find it hard to vocalise what is bothering me to people, because they are little things and seem too trivial to really make an issue of. I forget the good easily though, because they are little things. I've been questioning something for a substantial period of time but I realised I should really try not to be so selfish. Letting it go now...

On another note. I'm not coping well at school. I'm not even really trying. I'm back in the same place yet again... just being tired and lazy all the time, and generally unmotivated. I am not even being normal. I don't knw where all of that drive I had at the start of the sem go..... Ah. Why am I stuck in the same place again.

I'm okay though. I really am.
I'm aware that I'm saying all these because I'm not feeling bad right now and all these can change in a day, but I just want to hold on to this feeling for as long as I can.

D-76

P.S. I've switched to drinking milk instead of beer. It's so much cheaper and it at least tastes good.