Posted at 11:32 PM 0 comments (+) I've started working a 9-5 at a clinic. Well, more precisely, 8-5. It's busy, completely hectic, and there's so much to learn that I can get quite stressed when everything comes at me at once. Oddly enough, I'm enjoying it so far. I enjoy the challenge; I enjoy being constantly on the move, getting things wrong but learning from them, and having actual colleagues to talk to and laugh with about bitchy patients etc.

I get really tired at every end of the day, but it's alright. In fact, I get so tired that I can't think about anything or do very much every night. I just sit in my room and watch pointless videos until it's time for bed. I'm falling into a thoughtless cycle and I allow myself to. My parents don't bother me either. They seem to know that the job is taking its toll on me and they leave me alone for the most part. My mum makes food for me to bring in for lunch. I'm thankful.

Also, I found out that my extreme lethargy is a kind of withdrawal syndrome to my addiction to coffee. I'm cutting back on it now. Which sucks, because I get so incredibly tired I can't do anything except complain about how tired I feel sometimes.

It's liberating to not be constantly bugged by thoughts which I have no answers to. The days slip pass, and I allow it to. It's a lot less painful this way. Prior to this job taking over the majority of my energy and the ability to think, I've been preoccupied with a whole lot of thoughts, so I'm just glad that it takes away that constant nagging at the back of my mind about everything I want but can't have.

These pointless things I think about and can't let go of, they come out and haunt me when my mind is at its weakest.