Posted at 2:59 AM 0 comments (+) "어제 보다만 잘하면 된다." 
This means "Just do better than you did yesterday."

I am always trying to turn this negativity around. Sometimes I have the strength, but most of the time I don't. I keep telling myself to focus on the good things; I tell myself to be kind, do my part and not ask for too much. I try to take it step by step, try to come to terms with things that hurt by repeatedly telling myself "it's okay", but the sadness swallows me like a goddamn wave I can't seem to surface from.

I do try. I try my hardest on some days. It's just that there are more days when I'm sad and just mope than days when I try to be positive. It's hard to hold on to strength. It's hard when I'm always the only one on my side. One thought sets me back whatever resolve I have formed in a burst of positivity.

I wanted to be someone who only had beautiful thoughts but there's only fire coming from my hands that burned everything I touched. I hate that I can't be someone beautiful, but I think I was never meant to be a person like that.

It's hard.

My first lesson of the new sem starts in about... 9 hours.
I should get some sleep.