Posted at 5:03 AM 0 comments (+) Every day I tell myself to be kind, be zen. Chill, don't get angry at the little things. Try hard, try harder. I keep telling myself if others can do it, I can do it.I tell myself that when you get angry, just stay silent. Cool off first before you reply. Don't hurt their feelings with careless words said in a moment of agitation, never do that. Every single day I keep telling myself to please be strong and please don't fall apart. Every single day I tell myself you can make it through today. I have to tell myself 'it's okay, you'll be okay' and try to believe it.

So don't you dare tell me I don't try, or that I have it easy. I try harder just to keep afloat than any of you have to ever worry about. It's a fucking chaos in my head, and the weight is unbearable. Please understand that being alive today in itself is already an accomplishment to me. Death would be so sweet but if it wouldn't come I just have to learn to deal with life.

If you have someone who fits perfectly with you (not that they are perfect, but that they fit perfectly with you), who embraces your flaws and makes you want to become a better person, please just know that you're so lucky. If you have someone to run back to on a particularly hard and tiring day, a safety net who will always catch you when you fall, or when the sky falls, please know that you're also so lucky. If you have a family who understands your joys and difficulties and give you their utmost support nonetheless, please know that you're so lucky.