Posted at 11:33 PM 0 comments (+) There I was on the floor, falling into the open door of my wardrobe in the dark and trying to stop crying. I didn't know why I was crying. Or maybe it was the because the day had been so long and so hard.

And there I was on the floor, again, in the goddamn handicap toilet of my office. Holding my head as I rocked back and forth on the balls of my feet, taking deep breath after deep breath to calm the insane pressure in my chest.

I want so badly to let go now, but I remember how hard it had been before I finally settled down. I don't think I can ever forget the distress I felt that day I sat in a public toilet cubicle and cried my fucking eyes out.

This is really, really not where I want to be. I can't keep being in this place, hoping to one day feel okay.

I am hanging by such a thin thread.